EVERYONE LOVES TO LAUGH, even comedians. So when a joke lights up someone professionally funny, it's got to be a real gem. We invited some of our favourite comedians, comic actors and humorists from over the decades, from India and around the world, to share a joke or a quote that cracks them up. Here are our picks.



JOAN RIVERS, [noted American comedienne] said that her grandson famously calls her "Nana New Face", a self-deprecating dig at her constant cosmetic surgery. Comedienne RADHIKA VAZ, author of unladylike."I love jokes that take any kind of risk."  

MEN WHO HAVE pierced ears make better husbands. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery. Comedienne NEETI PALTA

our national sport; hockey is. Which is weird, because whenever I see a dude with a hockey stick, my first thought is never, "Wow, this man will make our country proud." It's always "He's going to thrash somebody." TANMAY BHAT, comedian, AIB

I WAS ONCE INVITED to entertain at an anniversary. When I reached the venue, a man led me to the function. "Ladies and gentlemen," he announced. "MrRajuSrivastav. It's going to be a memorable night." After regaling the audience for nearly an hour, when I reached the hotel's lobby, another man came up to me and said angrily, "We've been looking for you for an hour!"

"I have just entertained your guests!" I exclaimed, only to realize that I'd been tricked into performing at the wrong function. Comedian RAJU SRIVASTAV

A man is on the phone with someone. "I have to go," he says. "I'm getting a better call." ANUVAB PAL, stand-up comedian and screenwriter, on his favourite cartoon from The New Yorker

A MAN SENT in 10 entries to a joke competition. He didn't win. No pun intended.
ASHISH SHAKYA, comedian, AIB. "I saw this joke in Reader's Digest when I was around 10 years old. I thought, 'Oh, this is the best thing I've ever read in my life.'"

A FRENCH CAB DRIVER  once played a joke on famous English writer and creator of Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, on a visit to Paris. He had driven Sir Arthur to his hotel and on receiving his fare murmured his thanks, "Merci, M. Conan Doyle."

"How did you know my name?" queried the surprised writer.

"Well, sir," replied the taxi driver, "the local media reported your visit to the city. Your appearance was typically English. Your hair had recently been trimmed by a barber in south of France. I put these together, that's all!"

The astonished English writer asked, "Did you have any further evidence?"
"Well, sir," replied the cheeky driver, "there was also the fact that your name was clearly mentioned on your luggage." V. GANGADHAR, satirist

"IN AMERICA, anyone can become president. That's the problem." Comedian PAPA CJ ,quoting George Carlin, "who was as much a philosopher as he was a comedian."

MEL GIBSON ENTERS a Chinese restaurant owned by this mafia don Uncle Benny. He tries to get under the skin of the old man and says: "Hey
uncle Benny can I have some flied lice?"Benny responds:  That's fried rice you plick. Comedienne and TV host ANURADHA MENON."Ages ago when I saw one of the Lethal Weapon sequels, there was this really silly line that cracked me up immensely."

BATMAN IS IN FULL COSTUME and a passerby in an ugly sweater points at him and says, "Bruce Wayne!" And Batman thinks '!@#$@ WIKILEAKS'.
SHOVON CHOWDHURY, satirist and novelist. "Batman's expression is priceless. This is one of the most popular cartoons ever on the internet."

A RUSSIAN visiting India, went for an eye check-up. The doctor shows him the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this?
Russian: Read? I even know the guy. He's my cousin!
DEVEN BHOJANI  actor, and director of Sarabhai vs Sarabhai